


Not My Department by thereal_moriarty

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Food Play, Gorging on Donuts, Hangover, M/M, Making a Porn Movie on a Smartphone, Sex in a Jail Cell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 13:19:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Sherlock and Greg wake up in a jail cell with nothing to entertain them but a box of donuts. Whatever are they to do?





	Not My Department by thereal_moriarty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChrisCalledMeSweetie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisCalledMeSweetie/gifts), [phqyd_roar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phqyd_roar/gifts).



> It is I, thereal_Moriarty. I have hacked another unsuspecting AO3 user to bring you another tale of Detective Know-it-Alls slutty adventures.
> 
> For more of my work, check out thereal_moriarty Collection here on AO3, or this post on [tumblr](https://phqyd-roar.tumblr.com/post/161955721362/au-where-instead-of-a-consulting-criminal-Moriarty).

Sherlock woke with a groan. The thin mattress on the jail cell bed had made him ache all over, and the alcohol he had drunk the previous evening made the room spin and his eyes protest against the light. 

His head was thumping, but maybe that was just in sympathy for the jail cell door that Greg was currently banging on with his fist.

“Come on lads, a jokes a joke, but time to let me out now!” Greg cried through the grille, causing Sherlock's head to throb some more.

“Why aren’t you hungover?” Sherlock whispered his voice gravelly from sleep.

Greg turned to him and grinned, “Probably because I'm still drunk. Come on, get over here and help me.”

“No. Thank you.” Sherlock rolled over to face the wall and managed somehow to sleep again despite the sound of an annoyed DI trying to get the attention of his minions.

\-------

When Sherlock woke again he found Greg sitting on the bed next to him shaking his shoulder.

“Wake up you berk. They won't let us out, orders from ‘on-high’, which we both know means your pompous brother.”

Sherlock groaned, his head felt a bit clearer, but his body was still protesting about the bed.

“Here, Sally gave me some water and painkillers.” Greg said thrusting a glass and blister pack at Sherlock. Sherlock half sat to take the tablets then sank back down.

Greg went over to a tray set on the floor saying “She also gave me a pack of iced donuts from the break room, think she feels bad about having to keep me in here.” Greg shoved a ring donut into his mouth and spoke through a mouthful of food, spraying crumbs across the floor, “How come John isn’t in here with us? He was being just as ‘drunk and disorderly’ as we were.”

Sherlock smiled, “John is very good at evading the police, that’s been useful on more than one occasion.” He rolled away from the wall and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want to know.” Greg replied, then did a double take as he took in Sherlock's appearance. “Blimey mate, I could play hoop-la on that thing.” He laughed pointing to the very large erection tenting the front of Sherlock's trousers.

Sherlock looked down at the aforementioned appendage then back up at the DI with a cunning grin. “Some people could, but you are still far too drunk to have the coordination.”

“Oh, really?”

Sherlock licked his lips, “Yes.” He tilted his chin up defiantly.

“Wanna bet?”

“A tenner says you can't.” Sherlock, suddenly feeling a lot less hungover and sore, shimmied out of his trousers and pants and then stood by the bed, his cock standing proudly erect in front of him between the folds of his shirt tails.

“You're on.” Greg pulled his mobile out of his pocket and set it on the ledge in the door so that it had a view of the whole cell. He pressed a button and started recording. “I need evidence of when I win.” He declared with a twinkle in his eye.

Greg picked up a donut and smirked, “Oi, lift that shirt out of the way.” Then when Sherlock complied tossed the donut from the far side of the cell, which hit Sherlock's hip and plopped sadly onto the floor.

Sherlock giggled “See, told you.”

“No no, I can get this.” Greg picked up another and walking close slipped it onto Sherlock's cock, grazing the hot hard flesh with his knuckles on the way down.

Sherlock trembled with the effort of keeping still and gasped. “That's cheating.” He accused breathlessly.

“Maybe,” Greg teased, “let's try again.”

He plucked another from the box and placed it carefully into place, this time purposely brushing his finger over the tip of Sherlock's cock.

Sherlock's hips thrust forward involuntarily, almost dislodging the pastries.

“Careful, I'm not eating these if they fall on the floor.” Greg warned as he put the last donut from the box in place.

Sherlock struggled to keep still. His cock was as hard as he can ever remember, but instead of standing upright the weight of the donuts pulled it down to jut straight out in front of him. Only the very tip was visible, and that was smeared in white icing and sprinkles, and gradually became even wetter when the way Greg was staring at him made him leak, a drop of precome beaded at the tip and rolled down onto the top most donut.

It took a few seconds for Sherlock to realise what Greg just said. “You mean, you will eat them, as long as they hadn't been on the floor?”

“Mm hmmm.” Greg hummed in affirmation. He knelt in front of Sherlock and leaned forward to carefully take a small bite from one of the donuts.

Sherlock's eyes were wide and his hands clenched by his sides in an effort not to grab the DI’s head and pull it into his crotch.

Greg looked up through his lashes as he licked icing from the donut nearest to him, he smirked when Sherlock began to pant in frustration.

“Something wrong?” he asked then tenderly nibbled at the cake again.

“You aren’t touching me. I need..”

“You need to be good. If you are you can have what you want, and I might just get a cream filling for my donut.”

Sherlock's hips stuttered but he got himself under control enough for Greg to continue. He nibbled away until eventually the top donut was gone, exposing the entire flared head of Sherlock's cock. He was leaking freely, and drops of wetness were falling to the floor.

“You're making a mess, we can't have that.” Greg murmured, leaning in and very delicately tonguing at Sherlock's slit to capture the droplets before any more could fall.

At this first direct contact with his cock Sherlock moaned and tipped his head back. His hands spasmed and settled onto Greg's shoulders, kneading the flesh through Greg's jacket.

Greg pulled away, “Shh, not too loud or they’ll come to check on us.” He bobbed his head back to nibble the second donut from the side, moving every so often back to the tip to clear the drops that were forming more and more rapidly. Once Greg had nearly eaten the whole thing, just a thin ring of cake surrounding Sherlock's shaft, Greg licked his lips and took Sherlock into his mouth, letting his lips rub over the hot skin, down, down, until he could reach his prize. He grasped with his lips and tongue and pulled the remains of the donut up, up. Sherlock's stomach muscles tightened with the friction, the warm wetness that was engulfing him, but then the cake was off and Greg sat back on his heels to chew and swallow. He looked directly into Sherlock's eyes as he did so, slowly, teasingly, then his eyes flicked down to the third, last, donut. It was settled around the base of Sherlock's cock and Greg thought it looked delicious.

Sherlock swallowed, his Adams apple bobbed in his throat and he whimpered when Greg licked his lips seductively.

“I'm ready for my creamy filling now, are you going to give it to me?”

Sherlock could only nod, and he could barely manage to stay upright when Greg swallowed him down again. The tip of his cock hit the back of Greg's mouth, and then was forced into his throat when Greg impaled himself further to reach the last donut. His could only just reach, and Greg pulled back a little then used his hand to push it up the shaft until he could reach it comfortably. He then began to bob his head, dragging his lips up and down Sherlock's length, his tongue alternating between licking at the slit and around the head and licking the icing when he reached it, tasting the contrasting salt and sweet flavours and smearing it up over the hard flesh. 

Sherlock braced an arm against the wall of the cell and the other on Greg's shoulder, his legs trembled and then almost gave out as Greg hollowed his cheeks to suck at the head. His stomach muscles tightened and his hips gave a series of tiny thrusts that he was unable to stop, and then he came, pulsing his release into Greg's willing mouth with a bitten off cry of ecstasy.

Greg loved the feeling of Sherlock's cock twitching in his mouth. He tried to swallow everything Sherlock had to give him, but some leaked from his lips, dribbling down to replace the icing Greg had licked from the final donut.

When Sherlock was finally spent Greg gently pulled off of his softening cock and removed the donut so that he could clean Sherlock thoroughly with his tongue, grinning and giggling as he hissed with oversensitivity. 

While Sherlock pulled his clothing back on Greg remained kneeling on the floor and looked at the sad looking, squashed and come covered cake in his hand, shrugged his shoulders and ate it in a few bites.

Greg clambered to his feet, brushing dust off of his knees, and then looked pointedly at the very prominent erection tenting his trousers.

Sherlock smirked, but before he could say anything there was a loud bang on the door, followed by the clatter of keys in the lock.

Sally’s voice rang through the grille as she unlocked the cell “OK boss, just some paperwork to sign and you’re free to go.”

Sherlock picked up Greg's phone to stop the recording and passed it over, raising an eyebrow when he saw that Greg was still very obviously aroused.

He gave Greg a wink and said “I hope the contents of your phone will help with your little problem Inspector, but if not you could come by Baker Street this evening. I have a real hankering for chocolate fondue.”

Sally finally managed to get the door open and Sherlock strode out without a backwards glance, leaving Greg to try to hide the state of his trousers before he became the talk of the station.

**Author's Note:**

> This is Daisy, I am so sorry that you, dear reader, have been subjected to this depravity. Moriarty has managed to lock this fic so I cannot delete it. 
> 
> I hope that you will not be to scarred by the contents of this story.


End file.
